The green mist of covetous desire can grab us all, and no doubt, you’ve experienced the physical signs. The sheen of sweat on your brow. The inability to focus on anything other than the object of the irrational green mist. The shaking extremities, perhaps. The elevated heart rate. It lies in wait, concealed in the shadows of the mind, patiently enduring until the moment of greatest vulnerability. Did you really stand any chance at all? I did not, even when that moment extended for six days.
It’s Matt Dinniman’s fault. Dinniman, the next denizen of the Hell he speculates about in Dungeon Crawler Carl with one of the pineapple sticks getting shoved down his throat by Rory, is to blame. How dare he write a series I could not resist?
I had gone into a local bookstore, and the owners had a front table near the counter prominently displaying all eight books of the Dungeon Crawler Carl series. Some of the blame may lie with the staff, but only a minuscule speck compare to the gargantuan tonnage of blame slamming down on Dinniman’s nether regions. I had heard about this book and it had, I confess, intrigued me for some time. But, with a reading list running to about 125 titles, I resisted. I was not going to get anything more to extend that idiotically spectacular list.
I found these eight volumes were actually scrubbed up and not your typical, boring, naff hardcovers. They had bonus material. And lovely graphics on the front cover, under the dust jackets. Bloody, Dinniman. So, I bought the first volume. I happened to be in town on the next day, too, so I just popped into the bookstore again. I walked out with book two. At this time of year, I am often in my local town, so on days three and four, I ended up buying books three and four. I had to get some rat traps, so I ended up in a different part of the region. The local bookstore there had books five and eight. I wound up buying book five, swearing I would wait until I read at least the first couple to see if they took.
My plan was to buy the remaining books from Amazon here if it turned out I liked the books enough. That was the plan. I found Amazon was running out of the editions I had been buying. Some were already out of stock. That torpedoed my plan just brilliantly. I did wonder if Dinniman was holding out on Amazon. I was sitting here, trying to write Rising Late but, as you no doubt have already guessed, I caved like a soggy paper bag. I jumped into the car and drove into my local bookstore to specifically get the final three books. The idea of having to look at different editions on my bookshelf plagued me, as I am a bit OCD about such things. I am sure Dinniman knew this.
I devoured the first book in a few days. I laughed a hell of a lot, and I rarely laugh at books. Carl the Pantless is a legend, and Princess Donut makes a great partner. The banter between the pair and their growing connection switches the manic energy of the story up just nicely.
So, what is this phenomena with which Dinniman exploits the vulnerable with his brilliance? Dungeon Crawler Carl is part of a sub-genre called “LitRPG.” Yeah, I had to look that one up, too. Basically, it is fiction written in line with gaming structures, such as menus popping up, and a few phrases I had no idea were phrases. Like, “debuff.” What the hell? The game aspect of Carl is where Dinniman’s genius comes in.
The Apocalypse will be televised.
The Earth gets a visit from a massive galactic government system called the Syndicate, and the Borant Corporation is hosting this season of Dungeon Crawler World. A World Dungeon is created underground in the Earth, after an apocalyptic event wipes out a whole tonne of humanity’s population - like billions. A lot of the survivors choose to enter the dungeon, to which stairs have emerged at different points around the globe.
The Crawlers are contestants in a sadistic game of Dungeons and Dragons / Pathfinder / Your Worst Nightmare where they need to level up through combat and other activities, improving their stats block and gaining loot. All the while, mobs, various levels of mob bosses, and even some other Crawlers are out to kill them. In Dungeon Crawler World, death means death.
Princess Donut, gets elevated to partner level by the guide assigned to Carl and her, meaning she is no longer just the cat Carl picked up when his ex-girlfriend dumped him for another dude. Donut is a talking, fighting, Royal cat.
The pace is frenetic, packed full of insanity, and has a dark knife twisting in the gullet of reality TV shows. Dinniman is a funny writer. There is a tonne of profanity, but if that is something you’re okay with, Dungeon Crawler Carl is a hoot. Even non-gamers like me will soon catch their rhythm. I was hooked into by page four. It is that good.
If you have been wondering about it, wonder no more. If fantasy embedded in a science fiction book which makes a serious nod to Douglas Adams is your juice, then join Carl and Princess Donut. You won’t regret it.
Goddamnit, Dinniman.
You can grab my book, NeoTokyo Dead, from all fantastic platforms!
